mfelix, 5 de noviembre de 2004, 15:56:42 GMT

17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists...by Michael Moore

Dear Friends,

Ok, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash it all in, let's, in the words of Monty Python, “always look on the bright side of life!” There IS some good news from Tuesday's election.

Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists:

1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again.

2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916.

3. The only age group in which the majority voted for Kerry was young adults (Kerry: 54%, Bush: 44%), proving once again that your parents are always wrong and you should never listen to them.

4. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of Americans still think the country is headed in the wrong direction (56%), think the war wasn't worth fighting (51%), and don’t approve of the job George W. Bush is doing (52%). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure this one out. It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts.)

5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in the Senate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be able to pack the Supreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the Democrats do their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one.

6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace of our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole West Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most of the fresh water, all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them in lava. And no more show tunes!

7. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a nut, and not just any old nut -- a poisonous nut. A great nation was felled by a poisonous nut. May Ohio State pay dearly this Saturday when it faces Michigan.

8. 88% of Bush's support came from white voters. In 50 years, America will no longer have a white majority. Hey, 50 years isn't such a long time! If you're ten years old and reading this, your golden years will be truly golden and you will be well cared for in your old age.

9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get married in 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we won't have to buy now.

10. Five more African Americans were elected as members of Congress, including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia. It's always good to have more blacks in there fighting for us and doing the job our candidates can't.

11. The CEO of Coors was defeated for Senate in Colorado. Drink up!

12. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want them to go away.

13. At the state legislative level, Democrats picked up a net of at least 3 chambers in Tuesday's elections. Of the 98 partisan-controlled state legislative chambers (house/assembly and senate), Democrats went into the 2004 elections in control of 44 chambers, Republicans controlled 53 chambers, and 1 chamber was tied. After Tuesday, Democrats now control 47 chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1 chamber is tied and 1 chamber (Montana House) is still undecided.

14. Bush is now a lame duck president. He will have no greater moment than the one he's having this week. It's all downhill for him from here on out -- and, more significantly, he's just not going to want to do all the hard work that will be expected of him. It'll be like everyone's last month in 12th grade -- you've already made it, so it's party time! Perhaps he'll treat the next four years like a permanent Friday, spending even more time at the ranch or in Kennebunkport. And why shouldn't he? He's already proved his point, avenged his father and kicked our ass.

15. Should Bush decide to show up to work and take this country down a very dark road, it is also just as likely that either of the following two scenarios will happen: a) Now that he doesn't ever need to pander to the Christian conservatives again to get elected, someone may whisper in his ear that he should spend these last four years building "a legacy" so that history will render a kinder verdict on him and thus he will not push for too aggressive a right-wing agenda; or b) He will become so cocky and arrogant -- and thus, reckless -- that he will commit a blunder of such major proportions that even his own party will have to remove him from office.

16. There are nearly 300 million Americans -- 200 million of them of voting age. We only lost by three and a half million! That's not a landslide -- it means we're almost there. Imagine losing by 20 million. If you had 58 yards to go before you reached the goal line and then you barreled down 55 of those yards, would you stop on the three yard line, pick up the ball and go home crying -- especially when you get to start the next down on the three yard line? Of course not! Buck up! Have hope! More sports analogies are coming!!!

17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for the candidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That's more than the total number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton or Gore. Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media are looking for a trend it should be this -- that so many Americans were, for the first time since Kennedy, willing to vote for an out-and-out liberal. The country has always been filled with evangelicals -- that is not news. What IS news is that so many people have shifted toward a Massachusetts liberal. In fact, that's BIG news. Which means, don't expect the mainstream media, the ones who brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real truth about November 2, 2004. In fact, it's better that they don't. We'll need the element of surprise in 2008.

Feeling better? I hope so. As my friend Mort wrote me yesterday, "My Romanian grandfather used to say to me, 'Remember, Morton, this is such a wonderful country -- it doesn't even need a president!'"

But it needs us. Rest up, I'll write you again tomorrow.

Yours,

Michael Moore MMFlint@aol.com www.michaelmoore.com

mfelix, 5 de noviembre de 2004, 13:45:05 GMT

A Memo From the Desk of Billionaires For Bush

By Sir Harris Tocracy November 4, 2004

To: Ruth Liss, Horace P. Greedy, C. Bill Press, Chicago Chapter, Billionaires for Bush From: Sir Harris Tocracy, President, Chicago Chapter Billionaires For Bush Subject: Celebration and agenda for the next four years

CLASSIFICATION: TOP SECRET/BILLIONAIRES’ EYES ONLY

This was a close one. What great foresight to launch that electronic, touch screen voting venture. And to think that Walden O’Dell chap, the CEO of Diebold, isn’t even one of us. A mere millionaire. Not for long. Wally has learned what we Billionaires know: an investment in the right government officials pays enormous dividends.

CORONATION CELEBRATION:

Reserve your tickets now for George W. Bush’s Coronation Ball (public term: “Inaugural Ball”). Get ready to shake down your employees to raise the funds to provide the sort of lavish no-holds barred blowout this occasion deserves.

Billionaires will be able to take part in many special Bill-only activities.

Contribution Premiums:

Prospector: $250,000: a lap dance from a Congressional Intern on the floor of the House of Representatives (Senate an additional $50,000)

Cowboy: $500,000: two complimentary tickets to the super exclusive Cabinet members Jell-O Wrestling Match

Gunslinger: $750,000: Complimentary makeover by Karl Rove’s personal hairstylist and tailor

AGENDA: THE NEXT 4 YEARS

Billionaires made great strides these last four years. The Forbes 400 lists 313 Billionaires this year—up 51 from last year! In addition, we’ve been successful in increasing the gap between the “haves” and the “who cares.” We, the “haves,” are the top 1 percent of the U.S. population yet own 60 percent of the stock and 40 percent of total wealth. The “who cares” have steadily lost their jobs, making them pliable, afraid and, as “temps,” willing to work for next to nothing.

But there’s more work to be done. Although Project Jeb proceeds apace, we must plan long term. It’s unclear how much longer the American masses will remain distracted with reality TV shows featuring members of their class willing to eat their own feces for paltry monetary payouts.

Our most important goals for the upcoming term:

ITEMS 1—4: Tax work, not wealth!*

• Our minions in Washington did splendidly the last four years, giving American households earning over $1 million tax cuts averaging $123,000. But American wealth remains shackled by the burden of excessive taxation. While wage slaves (public term: working Americans) slide by paying only an aggregate 23 percent of their wages in taxes, wealth continues to be punished at an aggregate 10 percent tax rate! How can we be expected to generate all the minimum wage jobs these ingrates will need if 10 percent of our returns are taken from us? And for what? Public schools? Libraries? Community centers? It’s high time we stopped throwing good money at bad people. Capital is the lifeblood of the capitalist system and if the masses want the blood to keep flowing they must pay for it.

• For the second term of the Bush dynasty (public term: the “presidency”), we make the following demands:

zero taxation on wealth and investment income. total abolishment of the estate tax now. have the American government grant a tax refund on all investment and interest income. [Details of our plan can be found in our proposed Leave No Billionaire Behind Tax Act of 2005.]

ITEM 5: War, war and more war

Afghanistan and Iraq guarantee lucrative government contracts for generations to come. The government is buying our tanks, our aircraft and, sometimes, our protective body armor for the troops.

Action Plans:

Continue to sell the government our bombs to destroy Iraq and then have the taxpayers pay us to rebuild it! Iraq is now open to foreign investment (ours!): capitalize on this potentially lucrative market now, while stocks are still low. Next stop: Iran!

ITEM 6: Social control

(or: we’re here, we’re rich, get used to it)

Roll out PATRIOT ACTs 2, 3, 4, & 5. USA PATRIOT ACT 1 was a good start toward providing the total secrecy a “democratic” government needs to operate efficiently. PATRIOT ACT 5 will make it illegal to mention PATRIOT ACTS 1, 2, 3 & 4.

Expand the programs we have put in place to control what the vast American public reads, sees, hears, says, eats, drinks and buys. We saw in this election season the specter of free and unfettered political discussion begin to rear its ugly head. Such a development represents a grave danger when exercised by those unqualified to do so: e.g., anyone earning under $1 million per year (public term: American citizen).

Remember, we cannot doubt the ability of a few dedicated billionaires to alter the course of history. Indeed, it is the only thing that has.

Caution: destroy this memo after reading. Not for public consumption.